Sexual communication: how to tell a partner about your intimate desire!

Sharing a secret fantasy is not easy because of fear or shame. Four working methods will help to tell about your desire so as to avoid unnecessary awkwardness and achieve the desired result.

Sexual communication

Tell everything straight

Guessing in bed usually ends in failure or even disappointment. Therefore, it is better to voice your preferences directly and without constraint.

For example, start with what you like in your sex life, and then offer a new idea to improve it.

Another option is to express your pleasure from the right actions of a partner just during sex. Positive confirmation works reliably.


Actions are more obvious than words. So take the chance to demonstrate your own desire to your partner.

The first way is to show how you like it. Try to kiss the partner the way you want, and then ask him to repeat. Or take his hand and direct it in the right direction. Try at this moment to show approval or pleasure – so you will confirm your partner in the thought that these actions need to be included in sexual usage.

The second way is to show your sexual fantasy, but don’t take this too seriously. As a rule, something that you can laugh at together causes less embarrassment in the future. Let’s say you want to try a role-playing game about salvation from fire. Detailed explanations of how things look in your head will only increase the pressure on your partner. And, most likely, will not lead to the expected finale. As a joke alternative (option for women), put on sexy underwear, a fireman’s helmet (fire extinguisher as an alternative is suitable), turn on the video with a fire and ask shyly your partner: “Is there a fire?”. It sounds silly, but in this way you will really lower the degree of tension and share your imagination without superfluous words.

Engage in sex education

The best way is not only to tell your partner more about own desires, but also to learn something new. A good joint practice, in this case, is reading books.

To begin with, you can choose a book that reflects your sexual interests, so that the partner could learn more about the subject, or find a universal guide that addresses different aspects of sex. Start a habit of reading at least a couple of chapters before going to bed, and then discussing what you read. So you not only diversify the intimate life, but also get a new hobby to share.

You can find a suitable book yourself or start with one of these:

  • “Yes! Secrets of Love for Two”, Mantak Chia, Rachel Abrams, Douglas Abrams
  • “The Bible of Sex”, Paul Joanidis
  • “Enlightened sex. Something completely different”, David Deida
  • “How to become a great lover”, Lou Paget
  • “How to give her absolute pleasure”, Lou Paget

Test the light version of your desire

Sexual communicationIf you are afraid that your imagination may seem too extreme to your partner, try to feel the soil first.

Dreaming of BDSM? Do not immediately wear a latex suit or grab for a whip. Start with slapping and easy bondage (yes, silk scarf, as in “Basic Instinct”, will work fine).

Want to try tantric sex, but you are afraid that the partner will find this mystical practice nonsense? Choose a simple breathing exercise from tantra and suggest performing it in front of the prelude.

Noticing that the partner likes the new experience, try to go further. In the end, it may turn out that you secretly dreamed of the same thing.

Do not be shy about your desires. Realizing them, you make a joint sex life more complete and bright and strengthen the closeness in your couple. So there are fewer secrets, more fun!

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